12/31/2010 the other side of the crash

i know im not the only one in this world feeling what i have inside
its not a single feeling
its universal and a concept we feel no one ever knows about
in this place where things are transmitted and received our brains
our box.......where feelings can be blocked still allow
things to dominate , so many songs i have heard in my life
casting the radio as if its never in existence

donations and common Courtesy
inflation and social demeanour


its the last day of the year
and everything is so dry
like sand paper nothing is easy to feel

im not getting far with this post
im not sober its 3 : 14

and in a short time i feel as if nothing will never be the same again

its been a good year and i say it with a sour taste because there is nothing wrong with liking sour things

i accept it all i bleed red no matter what happens
feelings may have been hurt but
my name stays the same
its who i am
i can forget love
and remember hate
but i love hate and forget love
its a daily battle

i wake up repeating the words
cars cars cars cars to forget my ex and my feelings of this girl
im not weak

i just really care
im a man of faith
where clouded windows can prove we have something inside to give

i wish i could write the universe down
i wish i could erase things that seem to not matter
i wish i could find some one that can really be who i am
and be who they are

flash these lights
headed to near fights
what have i done
off to the streets where there is no light
so i say to ssaints
where is god if i write his name
no prayer brings him to me
but i must pray to be happy after death ?
my mind is making life up

tiny slits between our words cut our nerves
so we break out and fight
becuase we cant command life

we are nothing but the things we leave in our mind


im talking shit
idc idk imy

x_x
its only 3:44 and the signal is fading

im done

ill ttyl blogger

a feeling

so i swear my heart is red
as it comes crashing down
my wrist feel a burn from your grab

it was a passing afternoon
following paths that gave way
air waves that took our breathe away

minutes that never said live for another day
my feelings swoon
circle around my thoughts like an eclipsed moon

we glue our arms along a wire
and struggle to let loose the noise of a withered noose
we hang ourselves to see what we missed years before

so i feel my soul grab you
my own snafu
a sign of frustration

so beautiful
as a heart beat
sitting alone , along on the edge of a cliff

where lights never dim
shades never fade
where the sky never cringe

death up there shine more brightly then life down here

lies come for the truth mistold

grasping for air
holding your hand there
im invisibile
but you feel me surround your skin

when you wake up alone
hear whispers of iv missed you
if you dont feel it today
dont worry
its going to appear one day

held your neck so tight
press my palm with force on your chest
feel beads divide our skin
roll over and soil the feeling on your chest

your perfume comes and hits the glass
your sense sends me into another state
thoes lips reaching for my hug
but i cant help but sink like a stone

i squint my eyes to see you staring at me
suppose we lie awake
do we believe the truth while we sleep ?

as the piano plays in the background

im in awe in amazement
how water can be paused
and love can be blended over experiences
my movements havent gotten me to point b

Again why have i felt like iv been sold out
am i that hard to find ?
laugh again and smart remarks
hover over a grave as a saint would to recover any lost soul

this body is a dismemberment of my mind
and i chose to say
"home is a desire you touch and set on fire"

7:01 am

im still not done killing myself

im so obvious its gay-_-

you fill my eyes with stars
but it doesn't seem to get me very far


we dont talk any more and its occupied my mind
its a spot of shine lighting in from an unknown source
it has me staring and it has me glaring
eyes wide
iv felt like iv scaled mountains and paper trees
i feel like iv watered down my body down

trying to rid myself of what troubles me
and set my pain free

iv rememberd our thoughts
they added up like numbers
011011000110100101101011011001010110000100100000011100110111010101101110001000000110001001110101011100100110111000100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001100001011011000110110000100000011101000110111101101111011010110010000001110100011010010110110101100101001000000110011001101111011100100010000001101001011101000010000001110100011011110110111100100000011000010110011001100110011001010110001101110100001000000110110101100101001000000110000101101110011001000010000001101001011101000111001100100000011011000110010101100110011101000010000001101101011001010010000001100110011001010110010101101100011010010110111001100111001000000111010101101110011011010110111101110110011000010110001001101100011001010010000000101100011010010010000001101110011001010110010101100100001000000111010001101111001000000111001001100101011100000110110001100001011000110110010100100000011011010111100100100000011001100110010101100101011011000110100101101110011001110111001100100000011001100110111101110010001000000111100101101111011101010010000000101110

thoughts are thrown
and hearts begin too swoon

as it stands

things have gone way to far , and its leaving many scars. i cant see my grandma like this any more. i only sleep from being exhausted.hearing her voice after years brought me comfort.........i really did need it........ my family i wish the best i cant help but feel apathy for anything or any one....... dont wake me

as it stands
without standing for something
you will fall...

waiting to panic

stress induced lies
i cant live life even if love was alive
what do i do to get your attention
what do i get
not so cool ?
rude like an interuption

im sitting
and staring
.......im sinking while thinking

waiting to burst
like a ballon

what do i do
what do i do to get this through
im walking backwards
running side ways staring forward
my chest is exploading

\

Holding hands

Interlaced and warm
Change in our hands form
Cup and stitched
Link ourselves like a ball and chain
Your the only thing I never want to change

Things

I have secrets I wish to share
I have knowledge Im going to take to heaven
I have ideas that no one has thought of
I also have love n one understands

Stop my heart

I wish i could sing you this .....


Under the floor I swept secrets
Busted doors
Like river Flows

I feel so damned

The last one
I can't conceal
For only one moment
I want to say I love you

For all that you know
It's fuel for a blown out fire

It makes me feel so down

And noises fade out like an old radio
And my heart has been thumping like a snare
It pauses my thoughts
Cover my ears
Shuts my eyes
Cross out the lies

It's love
After after some time it's what I find true

So my heart starts bleeding
Evil is feeding
Dream to connect me too you
Searching all alone

I can no longer block my eyes
So I want to come back to your lies
Tell me you can see it
My ghost standing
Outlined falling to it's knees

Maybe it's too much wine

I don't know
But lately
It's been stopping my heart

what will I do now without you ....

I'm a victim of circumstance
because love won't longer give me a little chance
I'm not lost in thoughts
I'm.melting in flesh
I need new feelings
Let my heart refreash


I feel.like I'm rushing in
Not feeling
But revealing
I feel blood rushing within
Feeling like I'm no longer in

The truth is
I feel down without you
Regretfully down within
Whose thoughts are mine ?
If I can't think without you

One fight tonight
Alone with a wall
Stare at my shadow
One punch
And I scream insanity
.... I know better days will come

I know better ways
To see the upcoming sun
I know other ways
So I will no longer run

I'm done with saving the world
Just to lose the girl

I'm sick of being unlucky
My anxiety isn't killing me.
It's straining my soul
I wake up dry
And sleep in sweat of stress

Im.fed up with poems
I'm done with complications
I'm sick of feelings going one way
I'm upset at my self

In jealous
In flames
Burnt and always in a stare


What will i do now ?

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