so

i guess i only visit this blog at the worst of times.

how can i react

it seems as though i only create when im hurt
i cant explain how i want to create this
i dont know how to describe this new plan

but i felt like i have no where to land
i cant harbor this feeling . shes missed
and i miss her so much it hurts to smile


i know her side of the grass
iv learned to mow that those weeds
but at least give it a fight

i cant write any more doiwn.
i cant explain any thing

i miss you doe so much
im craving your hug
im melting to your thought
my hart is trying to beat
its collapsing so hard


i cant believe any thing any longer

i just cant react any more

meda mursian

summer of 2000

i was young a kid
yo and laughter were paint in an old house
forgive my sadness but years have gone by
still living for some slight madness

morning was nature infested in my schedule
slight blue little white
sleeping in a steel caucus
surrounded by the future

rushing to a university
where i felt i would never be
educating a mind
that was born with no will

iv been dry

so iv been petty dry, i have alot i want to say but im not like other artist where i can write things down for later. and when i do i just dont find the time to put it up, even if im not doing anything i just get lazy, i guess thats why i enjoy a drink or a smoke becuase it helps me concentrate ! but i havent not smoked bud in over 5 months in search for a new job ! pppfffttt but im fine with that !

never met the smartest man

iv been told stories about this young man
years and years his name would be mentioned
his name wouldn't go unmentioned without lines of tragic Luck
his actions are not of his nature
but the actions were defined by knowing will of destruction

his debt is displayed
leaving us with questions
how long ago, was it that serious for him to be taken away
the fight he struggled in
the nights he had nothing to snuggle in
the days spent sleeping safe under the sun
the evenings dealt with stealing
some scars.......just dont heal

and the days and nights without a conscious of consequence
the drugs that would consume such a strong mind
leaving a weak heart to fonder for
loss of strength and gain of fun

the smartest man was willing strung

it feels

it feels overwhelming
feeling blood pump inside
i notice my chest swell with force

i cant continue to feel like a liar
fragments of truth that misfire
and mounds of feelings that i didn't share

if it feels like love its pain
and it leaves me feeling frail
his only truth love is gone

when the circle rotates
its motionless unless we see its bookmark
a line is just a line

it feels dry
bones grind away daily
its just how it feels

im so excited for this new sound http://www.spin.com/articles/hear-music-thursday-reveal-edgy-new-album

http://www.spin.com/articles/hear-music-thursday-reveal-edgy-new-album

my tender heart is mending see
with you to the tenth degree
i tend to see the tendencies
of you being a friend to me
mentally your bending me
into shapes less then three
but i left the best of me with the
starting line, respectively
heavenly to have you standing next to me
happy like birth days after seventeen
on a Thursday with summers breath on me
Rest on me, head to chest on me
Asking questions like a guessing spree
"Do you think of me?"
you ask suggestively
I answer intensvely
"every second i can think of anything
my minds finds the way to you"
hope you dont think less of me
True I let my lessons flee
Jump into something aggressively
Rushing headfirst so I can sit center seat
To your attractive cinematic movements, ecstasy
embraces me when i'm in your prescense presently
I can hear your heart breath, in sync with mine magnetically

life

Whatdoesitaketoliveabetterlife?howmuchwillitakeuntillmyhandfail?

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Whatamessoursoulsturnedoutobe

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im not sure

about how i am inside
i feel like a tent covering pillars
that aren't standing straight
a foundation not laid in place
i know im over thinking
but now i know what it means to be in this position



maybe im just scared

punk

its not whats inside
till your soul is deprived

meet me half way

im always on your side
so be mine
so big and blue

honey i know we will see bad weather
but silence is always already gone

that dry feeliong

i went to bed feeling empty
feeling unnoticed
wiping away how shallow i wish to be
its knocks on the window
color less dots
reminds us of how it feels to not be happy

all of the things i want to say
wishing to see you every day
but please dont wake me


im living in sand paper

there isnt much to say
all i know is i dont want to live this way

fall into a world

feeling like skin is silk
sky driven ambition
nothing to grab
nothing to sad
nothing to offer but the denial to struggle
so we struggle, with paces
search for letter i

been stabbed to a wall
pinned like shadow
diminishing like fog
better then a martyre

lending examples for no monday mornings
so it starts where it burns from little crevices
iv should have taken action

can we flow up like like balloons
reach a layer where the sun is no longer blocked
watch it thin to explode
where the world
crashes and departs in fragments

these notes will fill cracks with reasons
sending pieces away
we read to tie it all

see the world part from you
apart for her
heart beat restart
faster then the silence in the night
i can see where the day break ends
you make me want to relive it again

slander SLANDER salamander

fish fish
make a wish
wet and dry
its not my fault you cant decide
you laugh about it
snare about how nasty you feel?

like a cat
devious for the feel
the one that came up and said to me let me feel

but you brought fire upon the evaporating gas
so we laughed
voices from your head
dont worry no big deal


i lost my position in the number line
to lose my way of survival
incoming no longer

now people laugh like they understand science
they know of jokes about their own mothers and lack of fathers
laugh out loud because its cool

when your swing reaches the pinnacle
your days will be numbered by the loss of conscious
time wont exist
will not matter
where you know about it all and slowly watch your self degrade

ill be fine
knowing
i was wronged
but its better to know
your long gone

lies from a fish
even fish die in water

is it love or last resort

virgo

this new years sucked so much ass , im sure there are a few donkeys missing some where. man im in no mood to write how i feel

sigh