Tuesday, August 31, 2010

noche solo con Jew

nights where my hand cringes near your head
our sweat is infused like silk and we can barely hold on
so ill hug you to melt you with the warmth you make me breathe with
with memories we know

tonight
we long for no end
the sun will be a bad sign
we are darkness
devious and so dam curious

nails burn and trail your path
and I rub your face to let you know i am blind to your physical
your heart captures my being
it knows me

I am passion
we no longer feel bodies
we just feel

I hear you laugh
sense you smile
giggle endlessly with desire
slowy indulge on your neck with my
lips
warm bites exhailing with my urge but I grasp for air and inhale your presence
makes you cold with a void but satisfied to know ill make you warm again




nibblenibblenibble ....... d;
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Monday, August 30, 2010

rain during day light

I guess I still miss you
a dysfunctional gift from you
you always said you'll fall in love with me some day
so I wouldn't have to go away
I needed what I did because want i what isn't there

as this song screams out HEY!
its followed by how any second
there's a chance for a meltdown
so this is why at don't talk anymore?

i could have used the extra time
and I'm not sure why I even care
because i was never there

only to hear your voice one more time
made me fall to the floor
blame myself
save. mysoul with my big hug
and its not your fault is all I hear you keep saying

i wish I. had it the other way
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Saturday, August 28, 2010

my stomach is bleeding

its pain inside that im forcing to escape
i can not live another moement with such forced guilt
i know it makes no sense but im moving along


i might be moving on monday to another city
idk whats going to happen
i tried holding on to where i belong
iv found my self to my old self lately
beem listening to lost prophets alot more then i have been in a while
and i love it i still listen to thursday but lost prophets was always alot more pop and upbeat which is who i really am

i sold my camera, been saving my money and im pissed since my foot injury is making me miss work !

ill make it through each day singing death or glory ;)

my feets and camera

ppp
along the path of manhood, things will be left behind, those things, defined with no remorse, are old parts that seen like paintings, they are vivid and non forgiving.,its these moments where personality becomes priority . iv found my self losing pretty much everything because I didn't know a dam thing about what I wanted.

8 hours later
iv been here thinking of the news my family got today
I'm alright and still myself
my wound is a lot better but I still feel sick because the shot

so I did what I had to do and sold my pride and joy
today I found myself.thinking of someone


I turn 23 this wens
its been an amazing year
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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

animal instincts and a question of loss

I wrote my soul out a few days ago and iv never felt so accomplished about actually writing mot of my.day.
the blog.client didn't upload but I got lucky and saved.most of.it
so here it is with a revised end

ytoday was interesting
but a plan filled, and rewarding ,,for now....I hope, anyway I woke up extremely tired from last nights pi,
and I promised a friend I would help her with her fender. so her friend picked me up anid an hour later I was getting greasy.
we then go on a mission to buy glue because she decided to place back her left light back it,-_-, I'm sure you can assume what happened next,we headed out to Walmart where its always filled with big ass .
as I walk in,I mention the usual and I get a silly smile in return. I felt like a dirty man , blaming the fact that I didn't wash my arms and forearms after getting greasy lol. we get some 2 dollar glue and start walking towards foods. but nerves crawl up and massage you numb and you find yourself staring......like a hawk, everything didn't just blur out I zoned in to all details with a curiously willed mindset. its complex but I never got this close to the other guy....but it was an experience that made me think of natural instincts one pure soul can achieve like the lions in the jungle checking out its past enemy and wondering what makes me so god dam different
you can call it dwelling, but that only applies to those that impose it on themselvs. I mention to my lady friend like gossip and like always was not listening.... we later head back to electronics because her dog raped thier computer charger.despite the fact of our job benefits she still rather buy it here ,we snake through isle looking fishy. and sneak up towards computers,incidently she walks up to a tall white, with mixed brown hair and special shoes, a soft blue shirt and an employment tag , it was a person I might have seen before ,like dead skin falling off. He did not recognize my movement, and it was short lived .......while we walk contra the woman inside me whispers some serious questions especially one that my friend had to motion to ask and I simply said Idk girl lol , it was done just as fast as it started .
we tried glueing the head light back together but this girl.can do some serious damage lol, we met up with bumble bee where I drank a couple beers and hit the pipe I spoketh the truth to him it was nice to have a conversation. since Iv been.on my own for a while was so good that we cobtinued the talk in the walk to his car which was a mile away... we ended the night

While doing my first body job on a mustang my friend flower asked me about something she saw me wearing, I said somebody , and she went to step two , still talk ? No , did you fight ...... and I lit a called Turkish blend add I ignored by saying I don't know , what bothered me was the fact that I felt just the way I did as I did with cable (no names mentioned)
At least this time it was more valid, I lost a friend ? Even worse.I still miss her day to day despite I'm not holding on to anything just sonethings that were genuine,
I have nothing else to say at the moment

So to the point
It was a great day.
Considering my friend lives. A few.doors down from.doughs cousins house, considering encounters and.getting attacked by a cute pit rowler looking dog

But just because you can drink water.doesn't mean you can't drown



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hi

hi
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Thursday, August 05, 2010

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

in silence

So its been a while since iv entered in this mode. It's completely harsh and no matter how many times I repeat its going to end, it just hits harder . I'm not a sucker, its just that in this particular situation I didn't realiz3 how much control I had on the palm of my hands to influence a positive living . I slowly grew a part that reached into her but I didn't.say a.thing I assumed and I then .just let it.crumble..my thoughts have crossed.a line and its based off the current living I'd my estate

It's been hard to express my solitude
It's only I who seems to understand

I am regretful
But not dead

I feel how much it was worth
I'm broke and not just money wise

I know
But knowing only affects so much

If I could control time
Then maybe you would.be mine

Suicide is.not an answer
But a fools solution

I'm no fool
But i acted as one

Anyhow

I learned and now I just stay in silence, there is so much I want to do.back.
I just can't wait to redeem myself
I deserve to make up for protecting my heart
And I know I will prove my name

Any way
I'll stay in silence because its what she wanted
Sigh
Lol its probably payback but I'm willing to repay with interest